she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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