dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
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I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
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Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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