Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
