Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
