Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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