I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
