it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you will always have a special place in my vag
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
