I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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