You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize