you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
