she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
