he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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