so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
