I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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