I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think I died a long time ago.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
