We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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