bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
