i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
