i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
