i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
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I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
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I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
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Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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