Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
