So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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