hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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