i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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