i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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