At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
