Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm at about main and main street
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
