we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
