she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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