Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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