dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
