Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He shit in the fireplace
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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