he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i out mim tonsoeep
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