holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
