yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize