why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
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