we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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