five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
