First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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