That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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