who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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