just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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