Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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