Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize