It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
