If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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