I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
