you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
