i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
