Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
