its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
