I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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