You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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