Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
false alarm, still single
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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