My brain says no but my pants say off.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
