At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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