so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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