i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
zippers are such a cool invention
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Is Oprah even human
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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